Sunday, 29 November 2015

Dusty Old Demos - Nhaavah - Kings of Czech Black Metal


Tracklist:
1. Death 
2. I'm Satan, I'm God 
3. Hate 
4. Xenophobia 
5. The Law 
6. War 
7. Nhaavah

This is the first, and one of only two editions into the discography of the now defunct Czech black metal duo Nhaavah which was made up of ‘Vlad Blasphemer’ (R.I.P. 2015) and ‘Barbarud Hrom’. Both men were/are members of the band Maniac Butcher also based out of the Czech Republic.
Where to begin with this one, well a good place I suppose is to say that it fucking sucks. Never before have I encountered a black metal record that was so shoddy in every conceivable way that it felt like a parody, until now. In fact I sincerely hope this is a parody or troll of some kind because if it isn’t then I really think that the reputation of black metal as a whole has been tarnished in some irrevocable way.
 
So why exactly does this demo suck just so much you ask? Well first of all this entire demo sounds like a $5 promo for a discount drum machine, as every single track on this release has the fastest, most repetitive and obnoxious drum programming I  have ever heard, once it begins it simply doesn’t let up. Couple this with nearly inaudible riffs of the most boring nature and vocals that sound like a cheap parody of Sargeist and you have the steaming sack of mess that is this demo.

If you think I am overplaying just how bad this release is, I dare you to listen to it all the way through and still say I’m overblowing it, go on I dare you.

Frankly however, the saddest thing about this release is that I actually own it as part of the bands self-titled compilation, which I now seriously regret buying blind. But let this serve as warning to not only me but also you fine people, don't buy black metal on ebay while drunk, because you might just end up with something like this dropping like an unwanted turd through your letterbox.    

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